Singapore Pornstar

2011-07-17T01:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 1ST YEAR LOVELY! :D

Right through my heart and it really hurts.

2011-03-16T21:09:00.004+08:00

Damn it! Like seriously. I don't know what got into me. I keep telling myself it's fine. Everything is going to be fine for hours. Before I try to sleep yesterday.
Well, it's suppose to be our 8th month today. At last I got some money to get Hayley something to eat. All thanks Terence for giving my number to a office and to do a survey. After the survey we got $25.

Yesterday was a real bad night. With my back sprain that hurts like hell now. I can't sleep. Whenever I close my eyes, my hand start to tremble. The definition of tremble means, it can cause from excitement or anger. So which 1 is mine? I feel like crying so badly. Why?! Since long I ever cried. This time it really hurts. I keep making myself busy so I won't think of it. But whenever I stop. It just struck my mind. Just like that. Yesterday I need cigarette badly. This time the urge is real bad. I when out with Alex yesterday midnight just to buy it. In the end I force myself to sleep at 5.30am. My $25 is gone.

I don't see anything wrong. Seriously. It's my heart that feels this way. A person who has a strong smile always, has a weak heart actually. I feel like the trust is broken. It's going to take awhile to build it back.

I always have a solution. But this time, I'm lost. Really lost. It's not like I don't know what to do. Maybe I don't dare to face it? Or from the start, I don't even have a solution. I need to be alone now.

I just need to think. I rather be alone. After all I'm fine. :) Hope I can get back on track real soon. :)

Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. :D:D

2011-02-19T00:15:00.000+08:00

UTs ending. :D Holiday I'm coming! Baby, I'm coming! :D Let's rock this holiday! :D

2011-02-01T22:15:00.002+08:00

Wow, it's almost a month since I post something. I'm a bad boy recently. Missing school for no reason. Late due to over slept. Where is the Shawn I know when?
Damn, I need to do something. My grades is badly affected. I need to buck up. I need to do well for UT3. I'm slacking way too much.

To think back, I had quite a year for 2010. I want to start and end 2011 with a bang!

Baby, I told you. I can be a bastard but never a jerk. :D I love you. :D

LOST!

2011-01-09T00:58:00.003+08:00

I really want to further my studies in culinary. After NS of course. But don't know whether time allows me to do it. I don't know what to do sometimes. This feeling totally sucks. I hate when I'm left hanging so badly.
I was hung for years. The feeling is like I want to strangle myself. I hate when I'm lost. Or don't know what do to. It's totally a bad sign.

We all live. Either you live in regret or use your everyday to the fullest. I can't back down. I can't stop. So everyday is my day to show, to shine.

Baby don't worry. You are my only. And when you smile, the whole world stop and stares for awhile. Cos you're amazing, just the way you are. I love you. :D
Remix by DJ lion. :D

2010-12-29T18:05:00.003+08:00

:D Got to get iPhone4 tomorrow. Damn excited. I'm going to take the same casing with my baby! :D

I got MC today. I'm sorry love for you as you want to work split with me but I'm down. Sorry for not being strong enough. I want to be strong and stronger, for you. I'm tired. I'm really tired in life. I choose to continue with it when I can choose to give up and rot. You came in as my life support. You made me want to be strong. You made say, life is so beautiful.
To think back about my past, there's a lot of ups and downs. Who doesn't want to be successful? Who doesn't want to be rich. Until I came to a conclusion, it's actually how you define success. Everyone has different definition. I found mine.

So I came up with this sentence. Treasure your past. Cherish your present. Excel yourself in the future.

2010-12-23T22:07:00.003+08:00

Woot! Christmas is coming but I'm celebrating with my love love tomorrow! Totally excited. :D
Was at home the whole day slacking. It feels good. Since long I had myself the whole day to rot and rest. I was hoping baby was with me too.
I'm looking forward to new year eve too. Planned a lot of things with love.
Eyes blink and time passes so fast that we can't even catch.
I can't wait for our first anniversary. Guess it's going to be soon. Since time passes so fast.

Another UT is coming. So boring. Got to study. Shawn, please study soon. Alright? Time to get my ass stick on the chair and read some shit. I don't want history to repeat itself. I'm going to re write the future.

PS. I love you. :)

Happy 5th month. :)

2010-12-17T00:19:00.002+08:00

I know it's past 12. But I really want to thanks baby for today. :D Wait, I think i'll thank her everyday because she always make my day. :D
We always talk back about our past, how we know each other, the start of everything, we go out to eat together, how we held hands and etc. All those sweet memories are in my heart. Locked inside and only you can unfold it.
Everytime I reach home, I see the pictures on the table. I felt so bless. So happy. Totally overjoy. You're just so amazing I swear. This is not going to be the only 5th month but many many more months to come and became year. Follow by it became years.
We've plans for the future already. I'm like so looking forward to it! :D Super excited. I promise this is not going to be just a relationship but a promising one. I'll not only hold on to you but cling on to you, bite on to you, grab hold of you. Anything which means to stand by you forever, I will.
Nothing can break us apart. I won't let things to break us apart either. Because you're amazing, just the way you are. :)

Last one standing.

2010-12-05T02:49:00.003+08:00

I've to buck up in school. I know I can do way better. What am I thinking for the past 2 weeks? I need to go back training soon. Come on. Shawn, do something when you have to. You're giving too many people chances. To climb over you, do whatever they want, too kind hearted. But I don't wish to show another side of me. I can play with anyone in my hands. I use the word anyone, because I can. I can use anyone. Then my world wouldn't be fun anymore. This is the bad thing when you have a high EQ and read a bit too much on psychology warfare. You can let anyone just die like this in any environment especially working environment. It's too easy for me. I don't do anything doesn't mean I'm kind hearted. Is just that I can't even find a challenger or competitor. BORING. I go work just to have fun and earn money. If isn't for money, I won't even work. Sad life? Hahahas.

I don't know I'm going to stay how long. I'm leaving with Terence I guess. I'll never ever find a full time F&B job neither do I see a good future being a cook forever. Unless you have a good certificate and became a chef. It's good. But I guess it's not going to happen? Who knows. Life is always sweet for me. Things isn't going my way actually. But I make it my way and take advantage as much as I can. Damn, I found out I talk like, 20+ years old guy? Who sounds like he knows and gone through a lot.

It's simple. Guys don't just surf porn always is good enough, read up about some new knowledge to increase your own value. Remember, always raise your own value. Make yourself important. In any ways. Just do it and increasing NEW and USEFUL knowledge is the best way.

Guess I still have to stay there awhile. Probably have I got my license. So I'm wait for my baby. I've to see when is she going. See whether can I find another job fast. Or something. I see some planning coming up.

Aww, I didn't have a long slack with my baby just now. Damn, after so long I thought can slack longer but I kind of tired. Sorry about it. I'll make it up. :D Hehehehehe. After you left. I started missing you. Badly. When I sit down quietly. Blasting songs and do my own stuff. I always think back on how we started. Until now. I can feel tears. Tears of joy. I love you. Thanks for everything. Take care of me when I'm sick. When I need help. THANK YOU baby. I just going to tell you I can't live without you. :D I really can't.

:D:D

2010-11-22T01:01:00.002+08:00

It's 1am. My hair is still not dry yet! Damn it. I don't know whether I can wake up later or not. Or should I skip school. Because it's cognitive. But when I suddenly think of, I miss my girlfriend so much. I want to see her. I miss her badly.
I want to be stronger. As in, I want to go back training. 6 packs, here I come. I'm going to train until all my muscles is out. I gain too much weight. When I got my pay, I'm going down queenway to buy my shoe. I lost my stamina too. A flight of stairs can kill me.
I want to look good too, for my love. So she will nose bleed everytime she sees me. Okay, I'm joking. I just want to wear nice nice clothes and go out with love. It will make her look better.
Okay, I've to go sleep now. Good night. :D

PS. I love you. :D Hayley Tan SHI KAI!

2010-11-18T21:22:00.002+08:00

Craps. I didn't know why recently I can't wake up. Damn it. Come on body. Turn back the alarm clock. I'm tired. I don't know why. -.- Seriously. I didn't work for this week but just didn't know why I can't wake up in the morning and feeling tired. Then doze off in class. Today is a great chance to sleep early. :D
I smell A in present and future modules. Come on. I'm so going to pawn those faci ass. Feel like changing job. Kitchen job is kind of tiring though. Do this, do that. Suffer so badly in the Japanese restaurant. Though now this job is so much easier. But it's still tiring as the time I sleep is getting lesser and lesser.
I can't say I hate it like this. But I've to bite hard and go forward.

Well, I don't know who is going to read this. But I'm just going to say. Ego is the greatest murderer of all times. Putting it so high, let you losing all the things you have now. They put it so high, and never know how big the shit they have made. When everything is gone. He's lonely. He's crying and he will be suffering from depression. According to psychology studies.

I'm totally different. I do things smart. I don't just do things my way or quietly agreeing with you. I'm observing you. Every single moment. Pretty scary right? It is the most powerful weapon. The silent killer. You won't know when is he going to make his move and totally unpredictable. That's how scary it is. Trust me, if you meet this kind of people, don't offend them. When you cross the line. They will make your life a total disaster.

Life is pretty sweet here and there. My baby is always there for me. Cool or what. Don't be jealous here to all the guys out there. There's 1 less beautiful girl for you guys to chase. :P Hahahahahas. Okay, I want to say thank you baby for helping me always and taking care of me. I really appreciate it. I'll always give you my fullest support, love and care. Just to let you know, I'll always be there for you. :D

Hayley,
I love you.

2010-11-15T00:44:00.002+08:00

Hey love, this post is totally for you.
I love you, since the day we got together and we will held on to each other for everlasting. This feeling is crazy, awesome, insane and a lot more. That's what make you up. I want to be stronger, just for you. I can't take my eyes off you as I know, I can't live without seeing it. You're just too gorgeous.

Bed, I love you. Oops, I mean. Hayley, I love you. :D

Life is so fucked up.

2010-11-06T00:52:00.002+08:00

Lousy people are getting more and more overrated. Why? Simple, they have no skills but to boot lick their way round. Only dumb people would have believe them. People who is good gets under rated. That's life. I pity this kind of people actually. Then they lost people who is good eventually. Smart is all I can say.

Why do babies cry when they are born. Because they know, when they came out, means suffering. I feel sad though. Rich people are getting richer but poor people are getting poorer. Again, what to do? That's life. Human is just so bias. Can't see those who are using their heart to do things then to use mouth to do things. And I definitely won't respect this kind of people. In this world, there are lots of people who is like this. Tired of handling them.

I seriously feel like going back to my ex work place to work. The Japanese restaurant. People there is really hard working is all I can say. A lot of pros in there. Very stable. These are the people who I respect and willing to learn from.

But baby don't want to do F&B anymore. Guess I should go to the other fields of industry to try. I'm tired of F&B too. I shouldn't blame why am I independent. But to be stronger. There's lot of things I need to handle. I can even predict my crap future. There's nothing more to say but to take it step by step. Hoping life is good and won't fail me.

I really want to give you a future. I know we've discuss how bad our future would be. A lot of things is holding me back. I can't do a lot of things due to obstacles. I'm sorry baby but I've a lot of bullshit to go through. It's alright if I suffer, but I don't want you to suffer. I'll take your burden, your troubles and problems away. Just leave it to me alright? Don't say you don't want me to help you or anything but I just want. I'm here to take away your stress. No worries about me. I'm good and I can handle it. :) I miss you.

Work, work, work and work.

2010-10-30T12:32:00.002+08:00

Going to work later when I suppose to work at 12. All because I send wrong schedule. Smartness in me. TCC events please. Can't wait to plan things with TCC members. Excited! BBQ is coming up, looks like we're going to have fun. Year end is here, we also need some parties.

School is fine so far. I got a good feeling in sem 2. Real good feeling. I want to hit the big 3. Life is good. I don't know why but I feel more relaxed than before. Now, I want to scream out loud. People always say, when you feel like scream is when you feel stress. But I want to scream as I feel relax. I don't feel stress or anything. Therefore life is great. :)

Bye has always been the hardest for me to say. As I see her back facing me and walk up to her house. The moment she left me, I start missing her. Then look forward to our next meeting. When I reach home, I'll hug the cow so tight. As she likes the cow a lot. Then hug it to sleep too. Before I sleep, I'll think of her. Wishing she's beside me. Then smile myself to sleep. Everything happen so beautiful and sweet. I can't imagine life without her and I don't want to lose her. I love you. :)

I miss you. :(

2010-10-25T00:12:00.002+08:00

I really feel like buying iphone 4. Should be buying next month huh. With my pay of course. :) Hopes baby buy with me too. Have the same cover too. Cool or what. :D
I miss my baby, really really a lot. :(
Sometimes a couple got together for years but still unsure about marriage.
Sometimes a couple just need a few months and know this is going to be a promising marriage. I believe baby and I know this is going to be more than a promising marriage. :D

PS. I love you. :D

Life is boring.

2010-10-19T23:31:00.002+08:00

Great, I failed my TP. Hahahahas. Chill. Sure can pass one day. Lols. Positive attitude for the win. I'm looking forward to my next TP. I need to lose some weight.
I feel, relax a lot. It's like, a stone is lift off my chest. I feel good. :D
My new class is alright. Nothing much. Looks like a normal class.

Going off now. Bye, and baby, I love you, with all my heart and every piece of me. :D

Life is harder than you thought.

2010-10-11T14:14:00.002+08:00

I just recover from headache and slight fever. Guess I exert myself too much again.
So much things to handle. Why are we humans bought out to this world, have to suffer. But all I can say, welcome to life. Nothing else. We play, work and die eventually.
But in between, we always find somethings to make it happy, fun and exciting.
All this little memories worth remembering and put it in your heart. Sometimes, when you're down. Bring out those happy moments, to recap. Life isn't that tough, life isn't going to bring you down, but is you yourself let it down. Don't let that happen.
I learn something which I think it's useful to a lot of people. You can let people look down on you. But never look down on yourself. Never pity yourself, because it will break your own ego, emotion and many more.

When that happen, they tend to use emotion to do things, want to put their pride up so high, but then, it can just fell. All the way. People who think we need to climb above them, but instead we can just walk pass them. This kind of people are retards. Real retards.

I just found out, my god mum is teaching me. I'm like so happy. I can't wait for tomorrow. Because I'm going to see her tomorrow. :D I've to buck up a lot. I try to aim at least GPA of 3 in this semester. Pawn the shit out of RP.

Baby, is out to Malaysia. Boring, no one to entertain me or for me to entertain. Rotting at home. I need her badly. :( Baby baby, come back faster. Lols, as if she can hear me. Okay, whatever to it. I need her. Because I love her. With all that single little pieces in my heart. I miss her badly. Can't wait to meet up with her later! Excited. Come home baby, faster.

School going to start tomorrow. I'm going to rock and then pawn the hell out of RP. Lols, guess that's not going to happen. :) But still, I've to work harder the next semester. For now, I'm still going to rot. :)

Here I am. Fighting my life with everything I got.

2010-10-01T19:46:00.003+08:00

Life is kind of, tough you know. I don't know how many 16, 17, 18 or even 19 years old person are independent. I'm considered lucky actually. Real lucky. Though I'm tired. Because I failed my O level English just by 1 grade. Do you understand how fucked up is it? Just because of 1 freaking grade. You got no where to go, no sense of belonging. Hear how your friends kept talking about Poly life. It sounds like, it's super fun and you don't know whether you can get there or not. All you can see is Army letter coming. The feeling is shit. Seriously. I see no future in myself. I see nothing. Completely nothing. I wonder how many people can actually feel this kind of feelings. The feeling of lost. Confuse. Tired.

I've started working when I'm 16. Well, I would say it wasn't successful. But I did try. I did all my best. Well, I don't see myself enjoying life. Neither do I have happy childhood. Life is a struggle for me. Who don't want to be rich? Who doesn't? But people always only put in 50% or less effort in it.

Especially people who is overrated. I can't stand this kind of people. Just being overrated, doesn't mean you can be proud or throw your fucking tantrum around on anyone? I won't give a shit about you.

Though I'm smiling and hides a lot of feelings doesn't mean I don't have. Yes, I always say don't envy, just do it. Be like them. But sometimes, something just can't be done. Just like me, envying rich kids. Get what they want. Anything that can use money to buy. Again, who doesn't want it. But after awhile. I submit. I don't want to run away from reality. Yes, I'm poor because I'm independent. Yes I do, afraid whether can I buy my next meal. Do I even have the money to top up my ez link.

If I save all the money I have worked. I would have $10k+ now. Easily. Can you even imagine how no life I am in the past. I guess no one can understand how I feel or even gone through what I've gone through. But like I say, I'm consider lucky, why? Simple. :D

I've a wonderful group of brothers. We named our self. Talk Cock Clan (TCC). The reason is simple, is because we love to talk cock a lot. I totally can be myself in front of them. I enjoy going out with them. Spend time with them. I feel comfortable.
Thanks guys for spending time with me when I'm low or something.

My wonderful family, I used to quarrel with my mum a lot in the past. But now, everything is good, being a filial child is such a wonderful thing. I started to understand them and try not to let them worry about me. Thanks mum and my brothers.

Not forgetting, my love. Hayley. She's the most amazing girlfriend on this planet. She's really beautiful. What I meant was her heart. She truly amazing and awesome. I love her for who she is and I promise I'll cherish her forever. I can't live without her. I really can't. I want this love to be strong always. It's my role to make it happen. :D

Thanks Hayley, for all your support. I don't know how to put it. But my life is empty until you came in. You show me colour. Path. Future. Happiness. And many many more. I'm glad that I got you. Tell you something, I still have some butterflies in my stomach when we're meeting up. :D Lastly, I love you, with all my heart.

Let this picture do the talking. :)

2010-09-26T00:24:00.000+08:00

There's no end for us.

2010-09-22T21:38:00.002+08:00

Baby is out. I'm rotting. Hahahahahahahas. Kind of boring. My car lesson last minute is cancelled. I'm tired today too. Or should I say, everyday I'm tired. I've to stress on quite a few things. Money is always the main factor. Time management is alright for me. But not money. Seriously, without money is the root of ALL evil. But for now, I got to suck up what I have now and slowly move in life. It's alright to be slow, but not to stop. Though I'm tired, but I feel great. I know when ever I fall. Family, girlfriend, brothers and friends are there for me. I don't have to feel afraid but continue walking. Thanks for everyone support. I love you guys.

Recently I found out, my principle in life is getting stronger. My principle in life is to believe myself more than anything in my life. Including religion. I can't believe people actually believe there's religion. I don't know to explain but I just don't. And I choose not to. Some people say I'm arrogant but I don't think so. Because I gone through so much shit and crap until I learn something, working hard and smart is a key to success. Choose your friends correctly. People who can't accept for who you are. Just throw them one side. Well, I believe everyone in life must have a principle and I'm firm with my principle. So what's yours?

Everyone have a dream and goal in life. My dream is to just live in an average life. My goal is to let all my love ones have the greatest life ever, including my girlfriend, Hayley. Having her at this point of time is a unlimited boost for me. She always be there for me. Cheer me up, support me and make me smile unknowingly always. I'm bless to have her. How we meet and those are crazy. Because it shocked me that she accepted me until today. I felt that we just got together yesterday. The feeling is awesome I swear.

After so much thing had happened, I know I can't lose you. I can't afford to. After having you, I forget my past and everything. I'm got a shock that you made such a big impact in my life. So big until I felt so comfortable and don't want you to leave me. Bye is always the hardest word for me to say.

P.S I love you. :)

2010-09-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

2010-09-13T00:33:00.002+08:00

3 more days to our second month. Time passes even faster now as we spent time together.

Having you, life is seriously great. Nothing can separate us from loving each other. Our love gets stronger everyday. Knowing how much we need each other. We even planned our future before. Because all I see in you. Is my future. Thanks baby, for your love and I hope it's getting stronger everyday. Because I will. We're just so alike. Things we want. Things we say. Things we think. Are totally the same. How cool is that? Anyone in this world can find someone that telepathy? I bet you don't. Because it's rare. That makes my Hayley unique and special. Someone I will want to be with forever. Baby, I love you. :)

Last UT tomorrow. Math. Screw it. I'm just going to pray hard. All of the module. I only understand half of each. Great. I always don't know how to do the last part. Let's pray and hope a lot people science and math do badly. So I won't feel that bad. But of course I'll still do my best. Next semester. I've to really study hard for my math. Hope this UT3 would be at least a D for me and I'm happy enough.

TCC chalet tomorrow too. Not sure about the plans, but just go first then decide later. I hope it's better than the previous one. I got to go sleep soon. Got to wake up at 7.15am. It's early! Alright. Bye for now. :D

2010-09-03T02:08:00.002+08:00

Studying for UT3 recently. Nothing much. Ah pui's birthday celebration later. :D Got to enjoy myself. Guess I'm going to stop work awhile. Maybe not working next week. Tiring.

I've seen all kinds of people out there before. To mature, serious and even to childish, lame and just can't seems to grow up. I kind of pity this kind of people. Because I don't know and somehow don't want to help this kind of people. I hope they think about it them self. They didn't consider the consequence before taking up the responsibility. After shit happens, either they run away or push it away. They won't want to face it. If you know that you can't, don't pick it up first in the first place. It will destroy you. Make people think you might be a leader and dash their hope.

How lame can this get. People start avoiding you, and there you go again. Start your shit all over again. This kind of people, is what I call childish. They don't think what have they done wrong and start pushing it around.

Next kind is of course the bossy type, if no one voice out, here he start his stupid spree again. Forever think he's right. Go ahead, I don't. I leave. Sorry, I will never try to change someone or ask someone to change for me. I'm not that troublesome.

I don't understand some people. Why do they think SO much, even the conclusion states nothing much. So afraid of doing mistake, then from the start, must well don't do. Those ah gua or boot licker, come on. Grow some balls. I hate to say it, but I have to. JUST FUCKING THINK SIMPLE. WHY COMPLICATE THE MATTER? I hate to tell those people who are like this too. Because we're the different level. They will let their pride stand high. But because of it, it will let them fall.

I hate to say, but in this world. There's too many people who is scare of making mistake. Don't be afraid to do it. But don't make a mess out of it and afraid to stand up and walk again. That's a problem and quite a few number of people have it too.

If you are this kind of person, don't come near me. As I'm allergic to this kind of people. Thanks.

And of course, not forgetting my beautiful baby. We when to my ex work place to eat. It's kind of expensive but the food there is really not bad. Guess it's going to be a habit to go there after pay day. Have a fun day with baby! I miss her so much. Can't wait to see her for movies too. I'm all excited. All I see in you is our future. Wish to spend it with you. I know just now in the bus, I'm irritating but I think is cool. Damn fun to talk in that kind of tone. I love to look at your eyes and beautiful face when we suddenly stop talking and sparks just run wild. Gosh, that's a awesome feeling. Which I only can find it in you. Baby, I don't give empty promises and you should know that. And over here, I promise I'll hold on to this relationship no matter who or how they try to separate us. I promise to love you the rest of my life. :D Baby, I love you. It's going to be our second month soon. :D The first month we didn't celebrate. Hopefully this second month is different. I got to go sleep soon. Good night. :)

At last. :)

2010-08-26T22:04:00.002+08:00

Baby is coming back. Around this time. I'm super excited! Can't wait to meet her tomorrow. I miss her like never before. I didn't work for few days already. As I want to study. But I only complete 2 module so far. Hahahas. Tomorrow we're going to study together. :D Okay, let's finish enterprise tomorrow.

I don't know what to say now, but I'm all EXCITED!

All this while you're not allow to read my blog. :D

But I leave the best for the last. Through this few days. I felt lonely. Which I don't like it at all. You can say I'm a baby who wants someone's attention. And trust me, the answer is you. This 6 days to me, pass so slowly. It's like taking knife passing me slowly as the wait is killing me. Though we still message webcam each other. It's cannot be compared to when we hug and kiss each other. That's the best feeling in the world. Fire works is all I can see. Sparks flying around. The next thing I know, I'm in love. Real deep love. When ever you're around. Time flies. There's a saying. When time pass so fast that you don't even know. You're happy and comfortable with the person you're with that time. All I can say, yes I do felt that way. Seeing you makes me happy and being with you, I'm myself and I feel comfortable.

Baby, I will do everything to make me your last. Because I love you, everything about you. Now, I'm used to having you in life. So I do everything to hold on, no matter what storm we meet as I'm stronger than anything you ever met. :D Thanks for your care, concern and love. It's wonderful, but it is possible to give me more? :P ? Nah, joking. Just have to yourself. I'll support you in every way. :D

Hayley Tan, I love you. :D

2010-08-26T03:51:00.002+08:00

Time check. 4.15am. I'm still not tired. Tiredness is not the first thing that came in my mind. But is baby. I really really can't wait to see her. Is it normal to miss someone this much? I got to have panda eyes soon I guess. But she's coming back tomorrow night. I can't wait until at night. When I can webcam with her until late. We're going to meet on Friday too.

Freaking excited! Baby baby, you wouldn't expect how much I miss you. It's insane. I can hardly concentrate. But at least able to finish 1 module, cognitive today. Try to rush 2 more tomorrow. Communication and enterprise. Please let me have the mood to study.

Life is so boring at home. It's even more boring when baby is not around. How no life; my past life is like. I will never ever want to go back how I live before. It's dead, totally dead. Nothing special. Really boring. After you came in, you add colours in my life. You're really amazing. I can't believe how much I fell in love with you.

You're just truly great. Awesome. Happiness. Cute. Wonderful and many many more. Words can't explain. Let the actions do the talking. I still unable to forget the day you accepted me. It's like, this whole world, not everything is ugly or unfair. But I found out. Which I know, you're someone I can't lose. I want to cherish you. I want to be there for you always. You're my definition of my life. You're my everything. Every piece of me just have your memories which make me think of you. Automatically. This is awesome. What can I wish for? When I have such a wonderful girlfriend.

Pretty means you have a nice face. But beautiful means you have a nice heart. A beautiful heart is all I see in my baby. To me, you're the most beautiful woman I ever seen. Baby, I love you. I miss you. And of course I need you to be back real soon. I need you to ask me to study instead of keep looking at you. I'm not a pervert though. I just can't take my eyes off you. :D

2010-08-25T01:34:00.003+08:00

What a boring day. Suppose to go back school. But I ain't going to travel for 3 hours to and back. Then studied for an hour only. It's too much of a time consuming. When to help my grand mother to pray. Gosh, see her hair like dropped a lot recently. I'm worried for her. She's a good grand mother. :) Though I'm tired and some how lazy to go her house. But since I miss her. Alright, let's go and I don't let second thoughts run through my mind. Tomorrow studying with classmate is cancelled too. Due to 4 people is only able to make it. Including me. Class of 23, 4 is able to turn up. How pathetic my classmate can get. It's alright to me. I just want to make it some sort of gathering. Now I can't be bother. I've done my part.

Just webcam with baby again. I miss her badly. I seriously can't wait until Friday which is 2 more days. It has been hell for the past few days. Hahahahahas. Every second now and then. I'm missing you. Badly and I mean real bad. Sleepless night. Tired morning. I need you baby. I can't have you leaving me from my life. You're my property. Love property. :D Shawn's. Lols. Okay crap. My head is heavy but I think if I lie on the bed, I can't sleep again. Guess I'm going to sleep later. Baby, Friday is a common goal for us. Hahahahahas. Let's pray and wish the day come faster. :D

2010-08-24T00:55:00.002+08:00

Nice, just webcam with baby. I miss her even more now. When is Friday coming?! I can't imagine what if I enter Army? The first 2 weeks have to suffer inside. She's only gone 6 days. And I'm crying out loud for her! Everyday look through the notes she gave me. The pictures we took. Whatever single little things I'm doing. I'm thinking of her. I don't wish to. But I am.

Every night, think of her until I fell asleep. Baby, I miss you. I can't wait to give that tight hug that I long wish for since the first day you're gone.

Tomorrow is going to be a boring day. Shawn, for crying out loud. Stick your butt to the chair and do my notes. No games or watching movies. For once, just end it nicely for exams, which normally I don't. At all. Hahahahahahas. Alright, I got to turn in soon I guess. Good night. But guess no one is here going to see my blog. Hahahahas. Fine, I say it to myself. Bye. :)

Second day, surviving mode.

2010-08-23T01:52:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow got to work again. What is this. Always out of air to breathe. Guess no one would understand what kind of feeling is this. Suffered for 2 years. Here and there. Oh no, everywhere need something, named MONEY. Got money got talk, no money talk cock. There's a saying, money is the root of ALL evil. But you're wrong, no money then is the root of ALL evil. Trust my saying. It wouldn't go wrong.

Seriously, to think back. Why am I suffering, compare to other people? Why? Until now, I don't really get the answer yet. 1 word to sum all up. Shag. Body is always breaking down. Screaming for help. But you've to ignore it and move on.

No matter how tired I am. It's never too late for the one you love to give you a hug. It's all worth it. Trust me. Someone who love you, would go through all this shit with you. But still stand strong for you. Support your decisions. Stay with you no matter what. Baby, would you do all this for me? I need you. I really do. If I say I don't, I'm lying. Which is something I wouldn't do.

Every hours, I ask whether had she eaten. Every minute, wonder what she's doing. Every second, missing her badly. I need you back, real soon. I can't believe I actually survived the second day. Okay crap. Of course I can. But my life is dull. Colourless. Mood-less. Black and white. Just some ordinary life with nothing.

Can't wait for this Friday to see her. Damn freaking excited. Looking forward to it. To think of this coming Friday. It gave me a big big smile. Baby, I want to hug you badly.

Oh ya, going to really start studying soon. Wednesday and Thursday meeting up classmate to study. I'm afraid we're chit chatting instead of studying. Focus! Less than a month. End it nicely. :)

2010-08-22T00:26:00.002+08:00

What a day without baby. She went to Taiwan for 6 days, coming back on Thursday night. There's so much of a different with and without her. I didn't miss someone so much in my life before. Feel like crying out loud. But I can't. After being with her. I didn't look back anymore. Don't wish to go back to the life I used to have. It was crap. Full of it.

In me, I'm burning. Want to wish for the hug that I wanted so much. The kiss we connect.

Thinking and missing of her, doesn't bring me sorrow but smile. I need her badly.

My mind kept flashing pictures of her. The next thing I found out, I'm actually looking at the pictures we took. I don't just miss her. I miss her like there's no tomorrow.

Can't focus to study. Damn it. I need to done with my notes before baby comes back.

Just to show how strong am I. But she's my greatest and my favourite distraction. :)

I don't just want her, I need her. I can't believe I'm missing her every second which I didn't expect me to. Baby, tell me you're coming back. I can't take you off my mind. It's painful somehow. My endurance is limited. My breathing seems shorter. But I'll hold it there until you're back.

See you this coming Friday. :)

Hey. :)

2010-08-17T23:52:00.002+08:00

Term break is really taking my soul away. Work 7 days straight. How no life can I get. But I miss out 1 interesting part. My girlfriend is working with me for days. I don't feel tired at all. It's such a great feeling, able to see her after work and had a great big hug. :)

I'm working full shift again tomorrow. Baby wants to work too, but manager say cannot. Damn. Hahahahahahahas. I've to suck it up tomorrow. :) The next time I'm going to see baby is on Friday. Can't wait for it! But Saturday, she's going to Taiwan. This suck big time. I'm going to miss her like I never did.

Thanks baby for working with me for days. :) I want to say, you're caring, sweet, understanding and awesome. Words can't describe you. Because your actions speak louder than words. :)

I'm so glad that I got you. :) I love you and I'll always keep this love strong. :D

2010-08-15T01:30:00.002+08:00

Baby has gone to sleep. I'm turning in real soon too. Dead tired. But I have 5 more working days straight. Let's faint and drop dead. Lols. Baby is going Taiwan for 6 days soon. Damn, I don't know how bored will I get. Without her, life everyday will be bored. But going to study like one crazy guy soon. UT3 is coming. Less than a month. Got my TP too, 19/10. It's on a school day. I'm skipping school just for it. So I've to make sure I pass.

I do miss my E25C. Though have lots of shit in it. But kind of miss those stupid comments we gave each other. *hope my classmates will see this.* Rock on guys. See you all around. Don't forgot to say hi when you see me. :)

Baby is working full shift with me tomorrow. :D Can't wait to see her. I'm always excited. Sorry baby, term break, I'll to work more. Guess we can't spend time like how we do when we're having school. But I promise I'll spend time with you when I can no matter how tired am I. :) You're my strength and it's worth it, silly piglet. I said before, I'll do everything for you. So don't ever say you're so troublesome or it would trouble me. I don't want to hear it when I say I want to do something for you. Tomorrow 16/08. It's our first month and we have to spend it at WORK. Hahahahahahas. Sorry baby, but I promise I'll make it up alright. It's not going be only 1 month, but many many many months, years to come. I want to spend it all with you. :D I made the right decision in chasing you and I'll hold it no matter what.

Alright, that's for now. :) Good night.

Hayley Tan. :) I don't want you. I need you. :)

2010-08-05T18:24:00.002+08:00

Outback closing for a few days for renovation. I found out 1 thing. Though I've the same amount of sleep. Average 5 hours. But without work, I've felt even more energetic. It's like, I can feel my body is resting. Didn't have this feeling, since after O level. Which it's like, almost 2 years ago. So just imagine. How tired my body is. Is very very very tired. It's even worst after I got into RP.

I've to travel so far. One and the half hours bus ride. Even before I reached RP. I'm like so tired already. But guess what, next week I'm going to start working again. I really envy those whose parent give them allowance. Trust me, to those people out there. Cherish it. Really, don't later, like me, suffer like a dog out there. No one understand the how tired is it. No one understand, what is it like to work outside without a certificate and got a shit pay and try to survive. I'm proudly to say, I did. The feeling sucks. Motivation doesn't seems to work.

Though I work, but I've to pay here, pay there, until I myself not enough to use. A lot of people thought I've money because I work. You're wrong. To all people out there, whose parents are still giving allowance, stop complaining and show those attitude that your parents own you a thousand bucks. They don't. Until they throw you outside alone. Trust me, you'll be back begging. I'm used to busy life. Used to sleeping less than 7 hours. Some people ask me, why do I have to do all this. I reply. I don't know. I really don't sometimes. I'm just tired. Mentally. Wish I could take a break. But I don't see that coming.

Everyone should have a goal or motive in life. Recently I just found mine. Guess who. It's none other than Hayley Tan. Lols. After she entered my life. I seriously forget how do I even live in the past. I tried to imagine, and I really can't live without you. As my past is really shit. Walking aimlessly in life. Don't know what to do. It's like, I'm living for no reason. You came in so comfortable. I don't want you to leave. From that day onwards, I told myself. I want to be with you. I'll hold on as long as I'm breathing. I'll hold your hand as long as I still can move. I'll look at you as long as my eyes is not closed.

Everything happen like so magical. We hit off well. Some people say, the hottest love has the coldest end. I'll prove those asshole wrong. I'll make this love have and always the hottest love till the very end. Hayley, you're really more than love. You're my everything. I will never have a reason why should I hurt you. You're lock my heart. Deep down in my heart. And no one has the key to it. Only you.

Our silly love makes everything strong. Our mistake tell us to hold on. :)

I love you.

2010-07-27T16:45:00.002+08:00

At last. I'm down. Waiting for this day for quite long. Until my body can't take it. And breaks down. Down with fever and gastric flu. NICE! But I can't rest for long too. Damn. How I wish I can have a long break. But I can't see that in years to come. My body is really really exhausted. When can I have a long break. Don't know when it's going to break down again. I hope it's soon. And able to let me rest for awhile more.

But guess what's the best part. I've a caring a sweet girlfriend. She's coming to take care of me. To accompany me. Damn. I miss her so much. Day by day. Our love is getting stronger. We miss each other even more. Whenever I think of her. I smile. Whenever I meet her. I'm like so happy. Baby, you change me. In and out. Left and right. Upside down. :) I'm glad that you accept me. And I'm sure, I didn't choose the wrong decision this time. Baby, I love you. :)

Oh sweet sweet love. :)

2010-07-19T23:12:00.002+08:00

Seriously, what else can I wish for.

We're like pieces of puzzle, coming to fit each other perfectly. To paint a beautiful picture.

You're like. You're like. Someone I long wish for.

This love will get stronger everyday, day by day and daily.

Can't wait until after school. To meet you up.

That beautiful smile of yours. Can take me down.

That beautiful eyes of yours. Can let me stop whatever I'm doing, just to look into your eyes.

Everyday, I'll read the card you made for me on my birthday.

It will brighten the rest of the day.

Read the letter you wrote, I can feel the sweetness in it.

When I day dream. I'll think of everything. From the start, how we met. Till how we got together.

The process is damn sweet. I swear. :))

Baby, get well soon alright. I'm worried for you at times. Do take care of yourself when I'm not there. And lastly, I love you with all my heart. :))

Happy birthday Shawn!

2010-07-16T23:39:00.002+08:00

Had a fun day today with TCC members. When to dine in at Fish N Co. Stand on the chair while they singing the birthday song. Had a great dinner and then, confession. I'm like SUPER nervous. I didn't do it before. I was like, hand shaking, leg shivering. Heart pumping fast. But in the end. I got you. Hayley Tan. After a long waiting month. I got the answer. :))

I promise, I'll cherish you. I'll be there for you, I'll support you in everything. :)) Hayley, I love you. In the past, I may not be serious. But now I am. I can swear I am. You're really beautiful. Gorgeous. Sweet. Loving. A lot a lot more. :)) Being with you, it's like heaven on earth.

Hayley, I love you. Always remember the date. 16.07. It's the start of everything. :))

I won't forget today. What TCC members do to me. Flour + fish oil. It's damn smelly I swear. I almost puke. No choice but to cab home and bathe. Even after bathing, I still felt smelly. Fuck. I swear I'll revenge 1 day. :))

This is SOOOOOO sweet. :))

2010-07-11T14:53:00.002+08:00

What can I wish for more? This is really really going so beautiful. Can't wait to meet you always. Deep down in me, I'm still nervous when you're around. Became silly when you're around. You've overwhelm me totally. I can't get you out of my mind. Because I'm love stuck.

When I guy is willing to change for a girl. To him, that girl is way beyond beautiful or anything. It's indescribable. From now on, it's not about you or me. It's about you AND me.

Your love,
And all the wonderful things
That they bring into my life,
Are like nothing else
I have ever known.

My heart is complete
With the love we share,
And our love grows more
Beautiful each day.

I love you,
And as long as we are together,
I have everything I need.

You are with me always...
In a smile, a memory, a feeling
Or a moment we share.

You will always be
My Forever Love

Hayley,

2010-07-10T01:37:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU! :)

2010-07-06T00:33:00.003+08:00

Got back from work. Decided to blog while waiting for my hair to dry.
UT week. Boring. Have to study. Tired, wish I can rest well.
My birthday is coming. Super nervous about it. Looking forward to it!
Wish it's not my happiness only. But double happiness. We're only apart by 1 answer from you.
This is killing me. School is killing me. Time is killing me. Body is killing me. Everyone around me is killing me.
All I can say is, with family, baby and brothers around me. That keeps me holding on. :))
You guys are enough. Glad to have you all around me when I need support. I can tell you all, that my this coming birthday wish is, all my family members, baby and TCC to be happy forever.

Baby, we're only apart by 1 answer from you now. You should know my feelings for you right now. It's strong and fierce. Won't get bring down just by some strong wind. But I'll still stay strong for you. Wanted to know the answer soon, is not desperate. But my heart is like jumping out always. I'm very very very nervous. Rushes of butterflies when I'm going to meet you. From the start till now. I do have. I status does matters to me. You didn't only caught my attention but other guys too. You know what's the feeling when you're single and it means free of anyone? I do, and the feeling sucks is all I can say. It's not I don't trust you. It's just insecure. But in the end of the day, whether you want to tell me answer, is up to you. I'm just a choice in your life. Whether you want to choose me or not. But I want to show you, I can be the one. The one you're finding for, from the letter you wrote.
I just need that 1 chance to show you I can be the one. I'll cherish you unlike any others. I promise. You're the girl I long wish for. Baby, I love you. :))

You're contagious.

2010-07-04T05:45:00.004+08:00

Everything is sweet isn't it?

When I need you. I'll call you and tell you how much I need you.

When I want you. I'll look deep into your eyes and tell you how much I want you.

When I miss you. I'll hug you so tight and tell you how much I miss you.

When I love you. I'll kiss you deep and tell you how much I love you.

I do. I really do.

2010-06-28T11:31:00.002+08:00

I miss you more than anything in my life. I swear. Recently, I miss you even more. Wish to meet you up soon. Go out with you. Every moment we spent together is really a bliss.

You're the first that I really want to be with. I got a feeling the time for me to know the answer is soon! I'm super nervous I swear. I promise I won't let you feel insecure. I won't want to let you go. I promise I'll cherish you. Baby, trust me with your soul. :)

My heart is given to you.

2010-06-24T23:44:00.003+08:00

My Sweetest love. :)

You can have a lot of doubts in me. But you can't doubt my love for you. Because I'll be there for you. I want to be your last. :)

Now, you are more than love to me. You are everything. :D

2010-06-22T22:45:00.003+08:00

Sending you home is always the best moment. Protecting you against BGL. Afraid that they will change shift. Enjoy walking long distance back. Holding your hand tight and don't want to let go. Never want to let go. Hugging you tight. Afraid I will lose you. Kiss you, to let our soul became as one.

You're the first person, I will want to change for and letting me change. All the words I said to you, is from my bottom of my heart. Nothing will change my love for you. Trust me, nothing will. :) I'm still waiting for the answer though. :x

Inviting - exciting - emotion

with power I had never known,

a world of unchained devotion

because you were my very own.

I had fallen in love with you.

Together we sailed in springtime

to an isle beyond seas of blue,

and when we returned,

a new life was waiting,

in a valley of dreams

where I first fell in love with you.

Love struck. :)

2010-06-17T23:08:00.002+08:00

All I can say now is, I'm love struck. Simple. She's all that beautiful. Yes she is. I smile to myself unknowingly at times, when I'm chatting with her. Think of her when ever I day dream. Miss her when ever we have to say good-bye. And good-bye is actually the hardest word for me to say to her. Wishes to embrace her tightly. Kiss her good-bye.

Butterflies in my stomach when I'm going to meet you. Tongue tied when ever I tried to talk to you. Being silly because I forget who I am. Change myself to be better. Send a chill down my spine when ever I look into your eyes.

Yes beautiful, you did all this. This post is only for you. I won't say I'm the best. But I would say I'll do my best. You just strike me with the killer smile of yours. Took me down harsh.

All I want is to be with you. :)

2010-06-12T11:29:00.002+08:00

Term break is going to end. DAMN IT! Boring! The moment I think of waking up 5.30am. I feel like fainting. But whatever to it. Going to get over this 3 years fast. Get my ass out. Holiday isn't really happening. Work. Class outing, but it's a epic failed class outing. Wedding party to attend. Tell the girl I like, how much I like her. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAS. This holiday, I didn't enjoy enough! Have to wait till August term break! It's PARTY time! Have lots and lots of plan to come up with.

Though this term break is short. But had quite a lot of fun. Know how to enjoy with small little stuff. Suffer at work. Hahahahahahas. Tiring but smiling. Gosh, how I wish there's more of this day to come.

For the pass 2 months I guess. You caught my attention. Taking my soul away. Hahahahahas. Confession seems difficult huh. Tongue tied the moment I tried to. Didn't really dare to look her in her eyes. She's dead beautiful. School is starting I wonder will I meet her often like how we are in the term break. Or hoping to cross path with her in school? Hmm, this feeling is dead right irritating. We didn't know each other very well. But I guess that's not really important for now. I don't wish for any outcome actually. But still hoping to get the answer 1 day. Weird right? Don't want to get the answer but still hoping to get it. HAHAHAHAHAHAS. I'm dumb. :))

Guess this love is going to be a tough luck. :) Hahahahahas.

2010-05-31T14:49:00.002+08:00

Now, everything is all about work. Gosh. Tiring. Sleepy. Then when I'm off, staying at home and rest. I felt so boring! Totally nothing to do. I really don't know what to. I want to play basketball! Didn't play for quite awhile. :) Okay. Guess I'm going to take a nap. :) Bye!

2010-05-24T23:51:00.003+08:00

Holidays coming! But looks like it's a bad or good news to me. Working time. For the 2 weeks. Gosh. Tiring. But not going to have a break. Let's just say. When I got enough money in the bank, then I do so. Maths test is kind of shitty. I bombed my way through. But pretty confident of my answers. Looks easy. But when doing it. It's different. :)
It's almost 12. Going to sleep. If it's possible. I'll load up some pictures of my class. And of course, not forgetting, TCC! Once a TCC, forever a TCC. :) Bye for now.

2010-05-18T23:32:00.002+08:00

School is FUN! Our class is getting more bond together! Laugh together. Pon class together. Super chatty class. But now, UT weeks. Tests! Boring. Math is irritating in poly. I don't know how explain here. But it's serious boring. Others, I'm still doing good. :) I want to aim all at least B in my daily grade, except math. Hahas. When down to my ex work place. The steak house I'm working, is going to be closed for a month for renovating. So I think, I'll be working there to pass that 1 month. Then after that, treat it as a second job. Only weekdays work there. Kind of a tired.
Driving car is super fun lah. But school cars are really slow. Didn't know why. Hahas. Driving behind them, makes me want to overtake them. Going to book my TP date soon. Then get my liscense. :)

2010-05-13T20:44:00.003+08:00

I smell holiday soon! After UT, it's holiday. Or maybe, it's a bad news, working time. It seems that I can't really take a break. It's either study or work. I can't smell freedom. Seriously, Having a girlfriend now is tough. Or maybe if she work and study the same place as me. :)) It's different. Class outing please! I vote for Sentosa! :)) Lols. Now, chill out. Relax. Wait for time to pass since I've done what is needed to be done. :)) Hope my body recover faster. After so long, my body is screaming in pain for long. Now, for this month, guess I've to let it rest awhile more, taking advantage of the UTs week. :))

2010-04-26T19:42:00.002+08:00

School starts. Well, first few days is great. When it comes to weekends, I'll miss school. But when I'm in school. I felt so tired. Wth? Lols. Hmm, nothing much really happen. Make new friends. I really want to study hard this time. Dye my hair back. Cut my hair short. Pay coming in! Sweet! But, afraid I won't have much time to spend too. Bored. I feel like going back my ex work place. A japanese restuarant to eat. I miss my senior. The seniors there, treat me very nice. Dotes me ALOT. So planning to go eat. I've asked her. :) Hope shes able to come.

2010-04-14T21:38:00.002+08:00

Wow, didn't post for quite awhile. Ever since I when to the steak house work. I became like a full timer. Work from 12pm to 11pm. But after that, normally my brother, WQ, Terence and I would have supper together. Got home around 2am. Seriously getting tired. I can sense my body is breaking down. It ain't good. School is starting tomorrow. For the past few days, when to the orientation camp. Tiring. Since years I ever woke up at 6am. Now, I've have to wake up at 5.45am. Wtf. When I normally sleep at 3am. Crap this shit. I met my classmates. Well, most of them I guess. I don't know whether I 'm actually looking forward to new school. All I know is now they gave me this chance. I was given too many chances in the past which I don't appreciate it at all. Last chance. This is the last chance. I really have to study. Being look down doesn't matter. What matter was are you able to stand up again. It's not easy. But it can be done. Have to juggle between work and studies. When it's free time, I'll have to keep reading up. Get notes. Study up. I can't afford to waste anymore time. I really want to give my best shot. I'm not going to hold back this time round. I'll do my best to kick butts!

Time management is really a challenge. Have to handle lots of stuff few months down the road. But whatever to it. Just end it nicely.

2010-03-26T20:24:00.002+08:00

Changed job. When to Wei Qiang there to work. It's a steak house. Lols. Not bad. Faster choing this 2 weeks. Then school going to start. Actually I'm not looking forward to it. Don't know why. Recently things happened and it happened so fast that left me breathless. Now, I felt like going in the Amry first, but I deferred my NS already. Have to enter Poly. No choice. Bored. Looking forward to Terence coming in to work. Jokes and everything will be cracked. Hope things will be settled quickly. Just now when to my ex work place. Botak Jones. I discuss with the head chef there. So maybe, I'll be holding 2 jobs. If I'm free and BJ needs me. I'll go over. Money issue is killing me. Fuck it. Now broke like 1 dog! When school opens. I also don't have money yet because pay come in at last day of next month!! I can die! WTF! What to do? Die lor. First time have this feeling. Lack of cash. I hate this feeling! Money money roll in please!

2010-03-14T15:12:00.003+08:00

Wow, what a sunday afternoon. Raining cats and dogs outside. But I can't sleep, such a waste. Crap, now my right arm start to hurt, and hurt alot. Think due to over train. But only 1 more month to poly open school. Can't give up now. I think I changing job. To weiqiang there, with my brother. Dict and Terence want to go there interview too. Looking forward to this Wednesday. :D Pay higher and can work with friends, is really a wonderful thing.
Thanks auntie, for those time we have. Those time we keep chatting, can't leave my phone even for a minute, hoping to recieve your message or call. But now, it's over. :DD Not due to you're not ready. I didn't dislike you this much. But all thanks to your friend. 1 sentence of hers, make me really think. She say, how can you torlerate me, I was like what's wrong with me? But it's the past. Ya, nice friends you have there. Maybe she even have told you how bad am I behind me? And yes, I'm sensitive. If you're ever reading this auntie, help me say thanks and fuck off to her. Her comments is appreciated. It really makes me hold a prejudice towards girl. But still, thanks for those wonderful time. Now, I don't have the courage to text or call you anymore. I really don't, though I want to, alot of times. But still fail. You always say, let fate decide, now I really let fate decide, whether to let this friendship end or not. I don't have the courage to face you anymore. You didn't hurt me, but just felt that, you deserve a far way better looking guy. Anyway, good luck to you.
Now, I'm going to rot! Zzz.

2010-03-13T23:47:00.002+08:00

Now then I realise, actually, I lost interest in girls. I don't know why. But I just did. Ok, I'm not interested in girls. Doesn't mean I'm interested in guys. I'm NOT a gay. Just felt that, after SO MANY things happen. From those ex I have. Those girls I like. Just let me to think, love extinct long ago. There's no such thing now! So why many girls still think it does? Grow up girls. There's ain't a perfect guy now, soul mate or whatever shit. So just WAKE UP. Now there's only lust. LUST! Nowadays, is girls leaving the guy. And I tell you why. Because when they found a guy who is Fucking rich, and wanting to chase her. There she goes. Flying towards him. Some girls may disagree. But let's see will they say this when they grow up. But have you seen a guy, leaving the girl because they found a richer girlfriend? I believe there is. But is it more than girls leaving the guy for a richer boyfriend? Well, I can say loudly, NO! Then girls always make themself like they are the victim. But have they spare a thought for guys? Thinking they are the 1 only who get hurt. Is just that guys can control their emotions better than girls, doesn't mean they're not hurt. After so many things happen, I don't trust girls anymore. I'll only treat it as lust. Maybe I should say, I hate girls. They make me don't trust them anymore. Always do EVERYTHING for her, what the fuck I got in the end. Leaving me. Great. Or having a crush on another guy. Fuck it. At first, I still believe there's love. But now, slowly, I found out, it's just lust. So what's the point of trusting girls? They always say, guys can't be trusted. Now, I think girls are suppose to be the 1 thinking whether they themself started it first.
1 more thing, you can see alot of couple, saying they love their boy or girlfriend. Now think again, you may treat it as love. But what if another party just treat it as lust? Iloveyou, this 3 words can be easily said. So think, is it a love or lust before you say how much you love the another party. Because when you say love, and broke up, I'll be the first to laugh.

2010-03-07T12:52:00.003+08:00

Wow, LOTS and LOTS of things happen recently. I starting to believe, love isn't a simple a thing at all. Some people say, the harder it is to get. But when you got it. Most probably, it's your forever. But who the crap believe forever love now? I don't. Fuck. Or maybe I love the wrong person fro the start. But I don't give a shit now. I rather work more than anything else now. I can't do things beyond my reach. Forget it. But I really want to say the word, FUCK to that girl. Urgh. Crap. Things are going out of hand. I'm tired to handle. I want to turn a blind eye to it. Or maybe we shouldn't know each other at first. But now, I don't give a shit anymore. Now, work, work work and work. Poly, poly poly. Here I come. I WANT to dominate RP!

2010-02-27T02:45:00.002+08:00

Recently lots of things happen. Lazy to type out. Maybe next time. But I'm looking forward to tomorrow! :DD Lots if my friends coming over to my house for steamboat! :D Party time. Update when I got time. Bye.

2010-02-19T13:07:00.002+08:00

Woot, CNY. It's like shit. I hate it. So boring, see faces I didn't like. Fucking relatives from my mother side. Didn't know how fucking disgusting they are. Acting like they're 1 big shit, but they're nothing at all. The best part was I only go in say hi, 30 minutes later, I'm goine. When to meet Kelvin Poh for movie. The what lighting thief movie. Not bad. But the most important is not to see my mother side relatives. I only got 1 working day this week, which is yesterday. When to Bedok. When I'm there. I miss Marine Parade. There is so much more fun! But the most important is I miss someone. She's really special, she may look like a normal girl. But didn't know why she just got so much of my attentions. SI AUNTIE/ UNCLE/ MASTER. I want to tell you. I'll wait for the answer. Tsk, you always make me so worried.

2010-02-10T12:10:00.003+08:00

Started work at Botak Jones. Over there is super funny. The head chef is a old time gangster. When I go there. The first thing he say is, the first thing you will learn from me is not cooking or anything related to kitchen. Is how to filrt with girls. -.- He then keep on playing with the beer girl and keep saying dirty jokes with her. -.- He always say me. He tell the beer girl I'm cute, want? Just take. The beer girl say ok. Zzz. I was like WTF? Why am I in? Zzz. Then when he call you. If you didn't reply in 2 seconds. He say you hao lian. The way he say hao lian is super funny too. He's a buay pai seh person. He saw a group of girls going up to smoke. Then when they came down, they walk in front of us. MY head chef says, smoking is bad for health, all the girls look at him. Lols. He damn funny. Then over there is super relax. Not busy at all. Calling all my friends, who want to eat free fries, come Marine Parade Botak jones, at block 80 coffee shop. But next week, I maybe posted to bedok branch. So check me out. Lols. Recently I know a SI AUNTIE. Damn irritating, die die don't want to admit defeat! SI AUNTIE, READ THIS. I WILL LET YOU SAY YOU ADMIT DEFEAT INFRONT OF ME! Wahahaha. I haven't even show her my power yet. Only 50%. Lols. Get ready to be trashed! :D

2010-02-07T23:13:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow starting my new job at Botak Jones. :D At Marine Parade. Super looking forward to it. Should be working with Raymond. Buy alot of things yesterday. :O But I don't think is enough. Lols. I want to buy more clothes! But I can't over spend. Budget recently is kind of tight! Hate the feeling. Money comes, money go. I want drive car to school! I'm so not going to take bus and squeese with them. Imagine all blackies! I can die. But for now, I may worked till drop before school starts. I want to have a lump of money before school start. :O Going to rot now! Bye.

2010-02-02T00:11:00.004+08:00

I think I'm quitting from my work place soon. I got a better job from Mon. Lazy to run all the way to Great World City. Super far. Recently catch up with alot of old friends. Nice! Miss them. Going to broke recently. I still haven't buy my CNY clothes. :O Should be buying this sunday.
Boring. Can't wait till CNY. I'm only looking forward for the hot pot only. :DD Eating with cousins! Damn high. But so not looking forward to meeting my relatives. Don't really like them. Now I thinking of a way so I can skip meeting them. Anyone want to ask me out on CNY? I'm free. Lols. I rather work then to see my relatives. Money Money, rolling in. Forgot to tell everyone. I'm posted to Republic Poly. Environment Science. Looking forward to meet new people. :D So regarding my NS. I'm going to defer. :DD

I'm thinking of digging out my book. Which contain alot of business knowledge. To share with you guys. But kind of lazy. Lols. If I have the time. Haha. Bye for now! :D

2010-01-24T18:22:00.002+08:00

My hair was caught at my work place! Bought a beanie just to cover it. Lols. Fuck the manager. I'm so going to dye green and go let her see! See her, I feel like saying Fuck you to her. She's fucking irritating. Small little things also want to say. Even all my senior can't tahan her. !! Hope not to see her tomorrow. I felt so suay when I see her. Zzz. Going to eat now and sleep early tonight. Bye!

2010-01-20T00:29:00.002+08:00

Lols, wow. Just found out I didn't blog for a week. Well, recently nothing much happen. Work, play and of course have fun. I bleach my hair! Love it. It's like golden white. :O Like some kind of Kpop person, but I hate Kpop to the max! Death metal is the best! Who say sunshine boy don't listen to death metals? I do. :DD Strange huh. When I started clubbing. I love R&B. Slowly, I listen to faster songs. Like rock. Then to metal. Now, death metals or screamo. If I go listen R&B now, I feel SUPER slow and it doesn't suit me. :DD Isn't it sad that Singapore don't promote metals songs. They should. CNY coming. Planning a steamboat. But kind of lazy to plan. Lols. See how. :DD Anyway, I really love my hair now! :D

2010-01-12T00:46:00.002+08:00

Got my O level results. I got all D7. Freaking pissed of with maths. It's a easy paper. Know most of the questions. Way more confident then last year. Didn't know how the heck I got D7?! Wanted to appeal. But close to a 100 bucks so forget it. Maybe is the moderations which kills me. English is a D7, now I'm able to enter poly. Going to defer my NS. :D
I think I should be entering NYP or worst come to worst, RP. If now, I'm able to get into poly. I'm going to buy a Beagle. I saw 1 at a pet farm. Omg, It's damn cute. Normally I don't like small or medium size dog. I only like husky or something like that. Those big dogs. But Beagle is damn cute! It's a medium size dog. HDB is not allowed to have it. But who cares? LOLS. I'm not going to care what my mother say this time. I'm just going to buy it. In Singapore is quite rare. I went to almost 20 pet farm and only found 2. 1 of it, the looks is soso. But another 1 is beauitful. I play with it when I'm in the farm that time. It's so cute! But when I broke the news to them, I wanted to buy. They disagree. Because I'm entering the NS. Now, I'm not and I will pay for the dog everything, my mum didn't have to take care of it. So I'm just going to buy it. :DD Maybe around year mid. :D

2010-01-04T02:20:00.002+08:00

It's 2010. Kind of bored. Not nothing to look forward. But just felt that time can you please pass faster!! I kind of in a rush. 25/02 seems closer. Maybe I'm looking forward to it. What to do? Can't run can't hide. Had to serve. Zzz. I'm working till maybe when I got my February pay. Then I'm going to enjoy the last few days of my freedom. Spend more time with family and friends. 1 more thing. O level results coming out. Hope my english pass and able to enter poly. Want to enter culinary course! Who knows? I may able to enter poly first. o.o The chance is freaking low. MINDEF told me, if I didn't attend school for 6 months and I'm 18. Get ready, to serve the nation. They got the rights. What the heck. Tomorrow going to Seoul Garden. Boring. Wednesday is my basic theory test and guess what, I only read half of the book. o.o Die. Tomorrow must read finish. Thursday working. Saturday too. Bored to the max! Next week, maybe I will work alot. Save up all my money. Get ready for, shopping! Buy clothes, jeans and alot more. I got things I wanted to buy in my mind and getting ready. Nothing to do. Tomorrow rot at home. I try going to sleep now. Bye for now!

2009-12-31T01:35:00.003+08:00

Trying to fight a war in the kitchen always. Zzz. It's like so tiring. So many things to handle when peak hour came. SUPER bad news when I reached my work place just now. My senior MAY get transfer! This news is shocking! Why? I go to work each time is because of him and now he may get transfer? It's like no point going to work now if he really got transferred. Just 1 more month, I'm going to quit. To serve NS. Zzz. But still looking forward to it. :D Tomorrow is 31th December. :DD It's PARTY time! Lols. I'm going to make sure everyone is dead drunk. Lols. 2010 is here. I should sit at 1 corner and reflect. What have I learn in 2009. Is it a good year for me? What should I do to improve it. Well, when a new year start, it's not about what mistake have you made, it's about what are you going to do to improve it. Some people just sit down there, wait for money to drop. Some people just rot and die. Some people just play finish their own life. Don't afraid to make mistake. But do have the courage to pick it up and move on.

When you fall, standing up is only half done. When you can stand and walk forward, you have done it.

So wishing everyone will do something great at 2010. Be it some small little things you have done. The most important is to ENJOY!

2009-12-29T01:01:00.002+08:00

!! Sleepy! But can't sleep. What to do? Rot till I feel sleepy. Can't wait for 31th December.
Super excited! But still Wednesday, full shift. ZZZ. Bored to the max. Today, I'm late for work.
I woke up at 8.30am. Then still feeling a little tired. So I told myself, just 5 minutes will do. Then I closed my eyes. The next thing I know is my phone rang. I saw it was my senior, then I felt strange, why is he calling me so early? I picked up the call, he ask whether am I working today. I look at the time. 10.45am when I suppose to work at 10.30am. Great, I went for a quick bathe and rush out. Reach there at 12pm. Lols. That's all for now. Tired. Maybe rot awhile more and try to go sleep. Good night!

2009-12-24T00:59:00.003+08:00

TIRED! Drop dead. Pissed. F*cked up. Crap. Piece of shit!
Work is like super tired! So busy. The new comer was so cute till. I want to .....
I'm SO busy. Going crazy. Rushing everywhere. 1 person do 2 positions. Then I need something real urgent. I ask the new comer help me do. I thought he didn't know. So I teach him while doing my things. I'm like going crazy. When I'm done teaching him. He say he know. I was like !!! Can I kill you? Can I? Please!! I'm like so freaking busy and when I thought you didn't know. I teach you. When I'm done, spending 30 mintues explaining to you. You say you know? Can you imagine? When you are in such a rush and need to take care of a new comer and then come jam your whole thing. Of course fed up. But again, done is done. No point saying anything.

A lot of teenagers have this problem. This BIG problem. When something happen, they tend to look more on the problems then finding solutions. Why? Why just don't you guys look for solutions. I hate those dumb shit, when something happen, they say. Omg, what happen? Why? What should I do? I scare, I don't know what to do. WAKE UP PLEASE! SOLUTIONS, SOLUTIONS AND SOLUTIONS! Apply it everytime and every place. Omg, I can't stand dumb shit. Crap man. Businessman always apply this thinking. Their not like employee, waiting for orders. If you're 1 of them. Then you're a employee. If you're someone who like to look for challengers and then crack your mind for solutions. Then you will stand under the employer. But 1 thing, only the strongest survive in the business world. Be smart, look for solutions quickly is a key to your success. Meaning, your mind must be fast in brain storming. :DD
Be smart guys. Don't stare at something and think for long. It's not good. Meaning your slow minded. Lols.

Always keep this in mind. 1 problem but 1001 solutions.
That's all for now. Bye! :D

2009-12-20T20:22:00.002+08:00

LOLS. For a moment, I forgot my password for my blog. But manage to recover. :D Lols.
Next week going to work almost everyday. Full shift. Money money rolling in. :D Super tired! Don't know due to what reason. I JUST WANT TO HAVE A BREAK! Maybe year start ba. Looking forward to 2010. But reflect to year 2009. I did learn alot of things. Gone through ups and downs. I won't say I regretted making this decision. But a mistake to learn. Example things like over confidents and taking things for granted. I did learn alot of things this year. How about you guys? What had you all learn this year? Did you spend this year till it's fullest? Enjoy every moment? If no, it's normal. LOLS.

Step by step. No matter what ever you do in life. Be it money, friendship or anything. Do it step by step. Alot of people die badly because they do it too fast and found out they didn't have the basic. When they drop, they drop down all the way or even worst.

Doing it step by step. Read up, gain knowledge before you move on. Ask for comments. Know how you're doing. Some people just put their ego too high. Don't accept other people comments. Come on, will it kill you? Comments is 1 of the best way to know how are you doing. Ask from people who say the truth and not boob licking. So let go of your ego. Is it that hard? Letting go of ego and bring you up the next level. Which 1 is more worth it? :DD

2009-12-17T23:29:00.003+08:00

Came back! The first thing I came back was to on my phone. Guess what, it's not working. WTH! Going crazy! Don't know what to do, don't know what to say. Just going insane.
Genting was shit! Whatever we request, don't have. What shit is this? They must well go to hell. Crap that place totally. Stay in the hotel most of the time. Can't even sleep properly. Sleep, wake up, sleep wake up. For a few times. Curse that place. The outdoor theme park too. The queue. OMG. Was so long that you don't even want to play anymore. SUPER BORED! Tomorrow I'm just going to enjoy, saturday working. Then next week got to work like mad. Bye for now! :DD

2009-12-15T00:25:00.003+08:00

:DD Going Genting tomorrow. After that I'm going to work like 1 crazy guy. Money in the bank. Can't wait till this friday and 31th Dec. :DD It's going to hell lots of fun! Update when I'm back. Miss you guys! And do miss me. :D Bye for now!

2009-12-12T00:15:00.003+08:00

Came back from Jing Kai's birthday celebration. :DDD It was FUN!
Had a NICE dinner then followed by the best part, cake smashing!
There's this part, I lie to Jing Kai, damn funny.
After we played, Jing Kai got some, but not really bad. Benedict as usual, got punk badly.
We suppose to pack up then Jing Kai show me 1 piece of cake. Then I lied to him. Pass it to me, I want to smash Benedict. He really pass it to me then I just smash it on his hair. Lols. My face was like so serious when I'm telling him that I want to smash Benedict's hair and he believed. :D I believe Jing Kai will remember for quite awhile.
Damn tired today and all thanks to a guy name YONG JIE!
Called Benedict to go TP earlier to play BASKETBALL. I had lunch there and we call YJ. The result is the same, he will never pick up!! Don't know what's his phone for. Lols. We walk around for awhile to search for him. Found him at sports complex playing BADMINTON. I thought we're going to Fengshan CC play. But in the end we spend the whole afternoon to play BADMINTON. Only till the last few minutes, we played basketball. -.-
Anyway, next friday, STEAMBOAT! Should be. Think so. Lols.
Can't wait till 31th Dec. WeiQiang and Benedict's birthday. :DD Then count down to 2010! :D
Anders also come back from China on that day. Should be having liqour. :D We're going to have hell lots of fun on that day. Guys, please take note on that day please bring MORE T-shirt on that day. You all had been warned, don't come tell me what peace or whatever shit on that day. ALL must kena cake on that day. Tell me not playing, I don't care. You all should know me well. Don't care who is it, just smash. :D

2009-12-10T00:12:00.002+08:00

SUPER TIRED! I wanted to sleep, but something just missing, I don't know what's that. Felt felt strange. Nevermind. Tomorrow Terence is coming to find me. :DDD In the morning, go make my bank card, then have breakfast with Terence. Bus down to the driving center. Apply my theory. Then to ICA. Make my IC. It's stupid how I lost my pervious 1. Forget it. Should be meeting Dict after that. He wanted to buy laptop. Not sure wheather am I having my dinner outside. Just felt kind of bored, but can't wait till Friday, Jing Kai's birthday celebration. :DDD

Let me update something regarding extra income. A lot people actually heard before MLM. Multi Level Marketing. Let me talk something about that. I did MLM for months. Here is my views about it. Well, I'm standing neither on both sides. So don't get me wrong. A lot people said it's a industry that can't be done. Cheat people money. Company like Sunshine empire, whatever how was it spelled. To me, it's a industry that can bring people to the next level, getting the 5Cs. Some people did great at MLM. Some fail totally, here is the reason why. MLM is something that CAN'T be done as a full time job. Read the previous sentence again. A lot people died in MLM because of this reason. Put too much effort but get no shit out of it. MLM should be slowly done and not in a rush. You will screw up everything like how I did. Slowly build up your team and passive income will come in.

Another factor, NEVER invest in a MLM unless you have the confidents in earning back. It's the manager role to convince you, ask you to join, ask you to invest. See again, it's their job. So they can earn commissions. If you really want, join them, don't invest first, if they insist, then ask them F off. If you invested, well, same environment, same people around you, everything is the same. Whether you can did something out of yourself, it's your problem. Don't blame the company, anyone or anything if you did nothing but want something in return.

Teenagers always give 10% of effort but want 100% in return. What's this shit? Kept on complain that they are lack of cash but do nothing, not even work to get money. This type of people deserve to be slapped.

For people who didn't know what's passive income. Passive income means, you don't have to there to earn money. For example, you own a F&B business. Customer keep coming in, but you're at home sleeping. Money still come in. That's passive income, don't have to work to get money. Make money work for you. A smart guy will build some passive income before entering NS. People get $400 a month, he may get $1000? Because of passive income. No one knows. Like I say, money is everywhere, it's just how you earn it.

2009-12-08T00:46:00.002+08:00

I got my pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWEET! :D Lols. Crazy! Sometimes, I wish to take a break. Take a real nice break as in, sleep till how late I want. Play whatever I want. No one to disturb me. Just me. But that's not going to happen. Have to work, work, work and work only.
Ok, let me teach you guys something. How to increase your own pay.
Smart people DON'T save to get what they want, they increase their own assets or incomes.
Smart people DON'T have only 1 income, they have a few. Rich people play stocks, investment and alot more. Lower income people will find lobangs to have extra incomes. Money is everywhere. Is just how you earn it. It's either more or less. How are you all going to earn it, it's you guy the problem. Be it legal or illegal way. Always be smart to make the right choice! :DD

2009-12-06T01:29:00.003+08:00

Didn't when to work today. Had a nice rest! :D So long, I didn't felt so peaceful, not going out, no one to disturb me or anything. Spend time with my parents. In the past, I always go out at night, didn't care the feeling of my parents. The more they nag, the more I want to leave the house. I just want to live my life. Go out with friends, am I wrong? Until I recieve my enlistment letter, the next thing is I tried to imagine what if I in the army. I almost cried. It's the first time I miss my family, my parents, my home so much. I don't know how to explain in words but trust me, the feeling is like, URGH! Want to get over it fast. In the past, my parents want me to accompany them to oversea, I will say no. Recently they ask wheather I want to go Genting with them or not. I immediatly say yes. I don't wish to waste anymore time. Now then I know what's the feeling of someone who miss their home. Family is the best place on earth. A place where you know is safe. With people you can trust around you. This feeling, you can't find anywhere on this earth but only your home. I don't wish to lose either of my parents. I don't want when their gone and then start regretting. After losing the love ones then know that they have regretted, this is what happens in alot of people. I don't want that to happen. From now on, I will try to have dinner with my parents. Spend more time with them. Don't want them to worry for me.

2009-12-05T00:24:00.000+08:00

Just another boring day. Dict came and find me at around 2pm. Bus down to TP to have lunch. Then when to play basketball. It's like raining alittle, but who cares? So we continue to play. Till it's quite big. Left with no choices, but to leave and go to another court which is sheltered of course. After that when for dinner. I like kimchi ramen! Nice. :DD Because I love kimchi! I wanted to eat something hot. Because weather turning cold. When to 7-11 after that. That's when I know I got a cold already. I'm like shivering when other's not. So decided to take off for tomorrow. I just love my senior lah. He's like damn good to me. Update next time regarding him. But for now, going to play DOTA. Bye! :D